We live in a society where people have this preconceived notion in their head that if in a relationship there is domestic abuse then that will be from the men’s end and not the women’s end, men are generally supposed to bottle up their emotions.
No, I beg to differ from this general stereotypical presumption of society. Spousal abuse is not something that is faced by only one gender.
And three unconnected stories of Jada Pinkett Smith’s debatable role in the infamous Oscar slap incident, legal battle with Johnny Depp, or Blac Chyna’s defamation lawsuit against the Kardashians, is all about that, or is it something about toxic feminity.
So, toxic feminity is the term used by Men’s Rights Advocacy Activists to construct a false equivalence between toxic masculinity and patriarchal limitation on women’s gender presentation and expression.
Benevolent sexism is a way in which superficially positive beliefs about women harm women and sometimes make it possible for individual women to get away with bad behavior, and Sexism covers the most common ways in which expectations of conventional femininity harm women.
Will Smith slapping Chris Rock created a lot of buzz after rock made an offensive joke about Will’s wife Jada at the Oscars. This incident blew away people’s minds not knowing what actually happened and whose side to take, rather many assumed that Will felt accountable to protect Jada.
Though for his actions he has been banned from the Academy Awards for 10 years. And this is leading many people to think about whether Jada’s behavior was just toxic femininity.
And now you see blame is put on the women rather than questioning the culture that has conditioned men to act in violent ways.
People are jumping to the conclusions by implying that she used such a claim to orchestrate the slap.
Depp and Amber Heard have become a center of toxic femininity. Heard has accused Depp of domestic abuse and filed for divorce from him in 2016. Depp has been denying the allegation since then, he has been attempting to clear his name by bringing pieces of evidence that suggest that his wife Heard was the primary aggressor in their relationship.
Depp has accused Heard of weaponizing her feminity against him and taking advantage of her womanhood by making herself out to be the victim.
And undoubtedly, male domestic violence victims face huge stigmas and are often not believed. In this, it is toxic masculinity and patriarchal views of men that make it hard for people to view men as victims and women as perpetrators.
Hence if Depp is a victim of domestic abuse, he is a prime example of one of the many harmful impacts of toxic masculinity.
Then the incident where Blac Chyna is suing the Kardashians, for which Chyna is getting a lot of hate online. Earlier people were supporting Chyna when she sued the Kardashians for the cancellation of her show.
However, as recent information about Chyna’s behavior in her relationship with Rob Kardashian keeps coming up, people are now criticizing her.
It has recently been revealed that Chyna has also been an abuser toward Rob and held a gun on him.
However, this article is not written to undermine any gender.
In all these cases it was the image of the strong man that stopped Depp and Kardashian’s allegations from being heard and it was that same image that made Smith feel like he had no choice but to protect his wife.
Human rights and gender equality belong to both men and women. In recent times of westernization and modernization, societal values have changed a lot. Now men and women are no different, they stand on an equal platform, now men have also opened up about the domestic violence that they face, they share their agony openly unlike in older times when it was believed that men can’t cry.
Hence the problems need to be recognized from both ends, both ends should be heard, shreds of evidence should be rechecked and the decision should be made accordingly.
