For past centuries, women have been objectified based on almost every action. But, steadily we are moving towards a change, women are now encouraging each other to love themselves no matter what size or color. Also, with the body positivity ad campaigns alongside the simultaneous discourses, the definition of women has been redefined in the 21st century. As we are moving ahead with body positivity, anti-colorism, and anti-racism slogans, we have completely forgotten the other gender- MEN. The expectation and conceptions of masculinity have been bequeathed upon us for ages. Men are showcased as strong, muscular with no emotions, who don’t cry or break with pressure. Additionally, with the rising popularity of D.C and Marvel characters, there has been a constant pressure to fit themselves in a mold of what we call – “Desirable Man”. The type of guy who is expected to have a successful life with a perfect girl and a perfect job. Young boys are lifting weights to bulk up while some go for harmful steroids to look “masculine” leading to toxic masculinity.
Let’s dive into the factors which tend to define a “perfect man” in India-
Bollywood and the stigma that comes with it
India as well as its neighboring countries like Pakistan, Nepal, Sri Lanka are hugely maneuvered by the philosophies of Bollywood. Movie villains are often depicted as dark, rough whereas the hero is portrayed as a beautiful muscular, chocolaty guy with sharp features and bulging biceps that are very different from typical South Asian men. Due to which the demand for skin whitening products are now being cashed in the Indian region. So much so that the TV ads feature dark skin tone as bad, rough, and not worthy to attain. Most men of the region are dark or in some cases wheatish which is far different from what Bollywood movies portray. In the 5-7 years the demand for beard and beard grooming products are on the rise. A mindset where having a beard is considered as manly whereas clean shave receives terms like “gay” or “girly”. There is huge desirability for Eurocentric facial features which is quite different from Indian features as well as not possible without the use of plastic surgeries.
Indian Social Standards for Men
To understand Indian society just open the matrimonial section in the newspaper. It is filled with the demand for “tall and fair groom needed” lines, as well as ads of skin bleaching products. Just like females, Indian men are too obsessed with fair skin, our society has constructed the mindset in such a way. Lately, there has been a huge rise in skin lightening products made essentially for men. The obsession with fair skin in India is deeply rooted since the British Raj. The time when brown Indians were dominated by fair-skinned British. At that time, fair-skinned people were regarded as a sophisticated upper class with etiquettes while dark-skinned people were lower class or say, working class.
Even after almost 74 years since we broke free from the shackles of the British, this belief of being fair-skinned as rich and sophisticated still survives. This is the main reason why people still prefer fair over dark. Besides colorism, men are also a victim to match the social standards of masculinity. “Men don’t cry”, “you walk, talk like a girl”, “hide your emotion” are some of the comments that are pretty evident in Indian societies.
In order to be more masculine or “macho”, men at a very young age often start consuming steroids and supplements that can harm their bodies severely. The ideal standard for men is well-groomed, height 6 ft or above, symmetrical face with symmetrical features, muscular body with no body hair. Well,l in reality these standards are unrealistic and quite different with a lot of variations than what regular people look like. Due to which many men have to deal with the constant pressure to look good and masculine all the time.
Reality is far different from fantasy
Thankfully, due to the constant debate on colorism and toxic masculinity, many have come to realize the changes we need to make for the betterment of society. TV channels and media have been very vocal in establishing a reality in front of an Indian audience. Not many are aware that the physique that we see on billboards or on movies are a result of heavy training with no carbs. Sometimes actors have to go for days without water just to look ripped and muscular.
Henry Cavill had to follow an extensive diet that led to dehydration for a TV series. People need to understand the celebrities we admire on TV or social media have the privilege of body trainers, steroids, dieticians that work extensively with them in order to get ripped abs.
“I was always healthy but the constant peer pressure due to ripped Instagram influencers put me in a position to get bigger biceps. I started overeating with 4-5 meals a day with less water intake,” says Harsh from Lucknow.
Additionally, plastic surgeries also play a vital role in achieving the perfect ab or biceps. Plus, they do it only for a limited period of time, be it movie scenes or bodybuilding contests.
With the advancement of technology, the market is filled with body-altering apps that can get you the perfect physique or particularly abs as well as filters that can change your facial features completely. Lots of makeup and perfect light are also a few elements that go behind the Instagram post that makes you question your worth. Also, ads like Fair and Handsome not only advertise unrealistic beauty but also harmful chemicals that can damage your skin.
Change is here
With the social media campaigns like Dark is Beautiful or Brown is Beautiful, targeted to cure the fair-skinned mentality, and have finally made a space regarding the colorism and racism that comes with it. Made to target the females but beneficially, it has in some way provided a sense of relief among men too. South Indian movies inspired Indian men to embrace their dark brown skin than to feel ashamed.
Many young, fair, good-looking actors come and fade as time goes by. Nawazuddin Siddiqui, Manoj Bajpai, and many others with lean bodies, dark skin tone with regular Indian facial features all do not particularly fit into the ideal mould of Bollywood actors but they proved it’s the talent and perseverance that gets you recognition and takes you ahead in life.
Zac Efron who trained for months just to showcase his ripped physique in the movie Baywatch says, “When I was done with the movie, I don’t want ever to be in that shape again, it’s not real, just take care of your heart and brain and you are good”. Body positivity should be for men too. Not everyone fits the ideal perfect men’s standards. Just like women, men too suffer when it comes to body and self-esteem issues.
There is a thin line between being sound and healthy and being fat and obese. Everybody and all skin tones are beautiful and must be encouraged to love themselves with no gender. The beauty of a man lies in how he treats someone who can do him no good. Tanya Malhotra a 24-year-old from South Delhi says, “Muscular body, perfect hair, might fade with time but what matters is what the person is inside.”
“Looks, behavior, body, I have passed that phase and to sum up about what I want from a guy is the persistence of loving me as a whole with all my flaws and insecurities. Put efforts, show consistency, communicate feelings, thoughts, and doubts, have a talk about emotions, vision, and dreams,” says Vishakha Goswami from Lucknow.
